An Old Man Breaks Wind In Bed And Starts A Farting Contest With His Wife

It’s often said that marriage is a game for the young, but if you were to inquire with older couples, they’d emphasize that experience holds the greatest significance. Consider this: when you first embark on the journey of marriage, you’re cautious and strive to do everything just right. However, as you grow older, the occasional misstep doesn’t bother you as much.

This truth manifests in the most amusing way when an elderly gentleman initiates a lighthearted farting contest with his wife. It’s a moment filled with laughter and love, but it culminates in a touch of regret.

Keep reading for the full story.

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’

His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, ‘What in the world was that?’

The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

BONUS JOKE:

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screamed over the phone.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father replied. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this. So call your sister and tell her,” and he hung up.

Now panicked, the son called his sister. She yelled, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” She immediately dialed her father.

“You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She slammed the phone down.

The old man turned to his wife and said, “Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.”