Why I Refuse to Support My Late Husband’s Child from His Affair

Facing Betrayal and Responsibility: A Man’s Dilemma After His Wife’s Death

The weight of betrayal, combined with the complexities of inheritance and responsibility, can feel almost unbearable. This is the situation I found myself in after losing my wife. Nearly three years after her passing, I was confronted with a painful and unexpected dilemma.

It all began when a process server showed up at my door with a court order for my late wife to submit DNA for a paternity test. I handed him a copy of her death certificate and sent him on his way. Not long after, a man appeared at my door with a child, claiming this was my wife’s son. Is it? I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. The child bears a resemblance to her, but he’s young enough that he must have been conceived just before my wife’s death. I informed him that she had passed away and directed him to her grave. Almost immediately, he began demanding ‘his half’ of her estate. I couldn’t help but laugh and tell him that half of nothing was nothing, and he was welcome to it.

Where I might be seen as the bad guy is that, while there was no estate, there were assets that bypassed probate. One of those was a rental property given to us by her parents, deeded to us as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. When she died, it became mine. I’ve since sold the property, and that money will go toward our child’s college education. Legally, I’m covered—I’ve already consulted my attorney. While I do feel sympathy for this child, my priority is my own.

Many people have supported my decision. “You weren’t in the wrong. For what it’s worth, these scams aren’t uncommon. If you still have the papers, I’d look into whether they were even legitimate.” “I would have said, ‘She died with a ton of debt. Let me get your info so I can transfer half of it to you.’ He would have been out of there so fast!” “You need to focus on your child and your finances. The property legally belongs to you, and there’s no proof your late wife was the mother of the other child. Your priority is your own child’s future.” “Unless he has a way to prove paternity, you have ZERO obligations to him or his child. Even if it is, the rental property was in your name, so it wasn’t your wife’s to give away. Remember, he chose to disrupt your life. I wouldn’t open the door for him.” “Don’t even give this a second thought. Just tell yourself, ‘It was a scam.’ And never talk to that person again—get a restraining order if it comes to that. But if you’re ever served with papers (like an actual lawsuit), then lawyer up immediately and defend yourself vigorously.” “This is between your late wife and her affair partner. You received sole possession of all assets upon her death, and you owe nothing to him. He should have informed her if she was pregnant with his child while she was alive. Why did he wait three years to come forward?”

Though the moral and ethical aspects of my decision may provoke debate, it underscores a universal truth: moving forward often requires making tough, deeply personal choices.