It’s undeniable that weddings in America have taken on an extravagant nature. From over-the-top engagement and bachelorette parties to extensive registries filled with costly gifts that may never see use, not to mention the wedding receptions themselves that can cost upwards of $50,000. It’s all quite overwhelming!
Even before the wedding festivities begin, the groom often has to shell out significant cash for the engagement ring, and its size is often subject to silent (or sometimes loud) judgment. This predicament was recently illustrated in a Reddit post that garnered a plethora of opinions.
The Reddit post, shared on Monday, showcased an image of a woman who had recently become engaged after an eight-year relationship with her partner. On her finger was a purported diamond engagement ring alongside a simple gold band.
Seems pretty standard, right?
But here’s the catch: this ring didn’t quite match the typical image of a diamond engagement ring. To many, it looked more like a pebble or a chunk of glitter than a genuine diamond. In essence, the ring appeared small, prompting the bride-to-be to turn to social media for advice.
“This is the ring he said he saved up to buy me,” the woman wrote. “Am I being shallow or materialistic if I tell him I don’t want this small ring?”
Reddit’s consensus was rather unanimous: the ring was disappointingly small. Some even went as far as to say that it spoke volumes about her fiancé’s judgment.
“I’m not materialistic when it comes to things like this, but if my man proposed with THAT, I would be fully insulted,” wrote one woman. “There are nicer, more substantial rings available for $200. He went out of his way to find the cheapest possible option; which, to me, suggests he might be like that in other aspects of the relationship and the future marriage. You can count on it.”
Many other Reddit users speculated on the ring’s low cost, with many believing it couldn’t have exceeded $200 to $300. Yet, to be fair, $200 to $300 isn’t insignificant for most people. But for an engagement ring that someone presumably saved for over several years? To many, it indicated more about her fiancé’s saving habits.
“Not going to lie,” commented one person. “I’d be more concerned about him ‘saving up’ to buy something so small. It suggests that a wedding might not be in their budget.”
“I agree,” another chimed in. “While I have no idea what this costs, it doesn’t seem like a ring you’d need to save up for. They’ve discussed marriage for three years, but have they gone window shopping for engagement rings? Have they discussed style, size, and budget for the ring as well as a wedding?”
Numerous Reddit users suggested that the woman should gently communicate her preferences to her partner, allowing them to return the ring and choose one together.
“This will hopefully lead to a budget discussion and set priorities,” one person explained.
“Exactly,” added another. “My husband has bought me jewelry that wasn’t my taste. I wanted an engagement ring I absolutely loved, so we picked it out together. We got engaged almost three years ago, and I still admire my ring every day because I adore it.”
In fact, many women shared their experiences in the ring-shopping process, advocating for their involvement or guiding their partners in the right direction.
Even some men expressed gratitude for their partners’ assistance.
“I even had my then-girlfriend pick out an engagement ring,” one man commented. “Because I knew I wouldn’t get the one she wanted, and I knew she’d be the one wearing it forever.”
Nevertheless, many remained wary, considering the engagement ring as a potential harbinger of things to come.
“Regardless of whether she likes the ring, if they’ve been discussing marriage for three years and this is what he was able to save for (possibly over the course of three years), unless her fiancé is living in poverty, it seems like a red flag regarding his ability to manage finances and save money, which is a major concern if you’re going to spend a lifetime with someone,” wrote one person.
A few individuals did come to the guy’s defense, albeit somewhat.
“I kind of like her ring,” one person commented. “It’s very modern and sleek looking. I’d wear that in a heartbeat.”
“It’s exactly the kind of ring I’d wear,” added another.
But perhaps one person summed it up best when they dropped a truth bomb: “When the ring is the issue, the ring is not the issue.”
So, while the ring is small, is it really a valid reason to shame the person you love and want to spend your life with on the internet? After all, she could have simply declined, couldn’t she? Share your thoughts in the comments section, and don’t forget to share this story with your friends and family.