My Daughter-in-Law’s Unannounced Drop-Offs Have to Stop

Many people agree that the arrival of grandchildren brings immense joy, infusing their lives with new energy and love. However, the complexities of modern life often push grandparents into roles that extend far beyond occasional babysitting, sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being. This is precisely the situation for the woman in today’s story.

She explained what happened:
“My son and daughter-in-law have been married for about seven years. They have two kids. All my children have moved out and are living their own lives. My husband and I are still working and probably won’t retire for another 10–15 years, around age 70.

My daughter-in-law and I got along much better before the kids came into the picture. They live 30 minutes away, and she is constantly trying to drop them off. I thought my son was in on this, but he wasn’t. I sat them down, and he had no idea this was happening.

I showed him the numerous texts asking me to babysit, and he was under the impression that I had only babysat twice this month, not 16 times. Apparently, she has been dropping them off with me to hang out with friends, while my son believed she was taking the kids with her.”

To keep everyone on the same page, I started communicating in a group chat with my son and daughter-in-law. I only respond to her messages in the group chat, and if she starts to spam me with texts about babysitting, I take a screenshot and post it in the group chat for my son to handle.

We had a discussion, and it turns out she wants her kids to have the same close relationship with their grandparents that she had growing up. I explained that since I’m still working, I can’t have the kids every other day like her grandparents did. We finally agreed to have a “grandma’s day” every two weeks.

Things went smoothly for about a year, but now my son is traveling for work, and my daughter-in-law is back to her old ways. The time difference makes it difficult for my son to intervene promptly.

One day, I had been home for only an hour when she showed up, wanting me to babysit while she went shopping. I had reached my limit. I told her that I have my own life and that I would not be the cookie-cutter grandma she wanted. I warned her that if she tried to leave the kids with me without my consent again, I would call the police for abandonment.

She called me a jerk and stormed off. Later, my son called, trying to smooth things over and saying I may have gone too far.