My Desire to Carry My Best Friend’s Child Sparks a Startling Response from My Husband

I’m Sarah, 25 years old, and happily married to David, 28, for a year now. Growing up without siblings, my bond with Tania has been unwavering. We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember, sharing countless memories and supporting each other through thick and thin. Tania is more than a friend; she’s the sister I never had.

Despite our close friendship, Tania has faced a challenging journey to parenthood. She married her college sweetheart right after graduation, dreaming of starting a family together. However, their path to conception has been fraught with obstacles. After numerous tests and painful procedures, Tania received the devastating news that she cannot carry a child due to issues with her uterus. Despite having healthy eggs, surrogacy emerged as their only viable option.

When Tania shared her heart-wrenching revelation with me, I didn’t hesitate to offer my support. Without a second thought, I volunteered to carry their IVF baby, determined to help them fulfill their dreams of parenthood.

Last week, I accompanied Tania to her gynecologist, where I underwent a thorough examination and Q&A session. Thankfully, I received the green light, confirming that I could carry her baby without any trouble.

Amidst the excitement and preparations, last night, my husband unexpectedly broached the topic of starting our own family. When we exchanged vows, we made a solemn pact to wait 3-4 years until we were financially secure and had a place to call our own before embarking on the journey of parenthood.

In the midst of his surprise, I confessed, “I’ve already committed to being a surrogate for Tania, and that’s a promise I can’t back out of.” His shock was palpable.

He countered, “When did you intend to inform me about this? I’m your husband; I should have a say in this decision.”

I tried to clarify, “I didn’t see the need to seek your consent. My body, my choice,” but his response was unexpectedly aggressive. He retorted, “What do you mean? You can’t just commit to carrying someone else’s baby without consulting me.”

“This is a decision we should make together,” he asserted. After a few moments of heavy silence, he stunned me with an unexpected threat, saying, “In that case, I can also choose not to be involved, or perhaps not be a part of your life altogether.”

I grasp that many husbands might not readily embrace this decision. However, due to our close bond, I feel a profound obligation to assist my friend.

Nevertheless, his mention of divorce has prompted me to reconsider whether I should have sought his input beforehand. I would value your perspective on how best to handle this dilemma.