Am I Wrong for Telling My Pregnant Daughter It’s Time to Move Out After Baby #7?

All mothers deeply care for their children and strive to support them in every way possible. However, some children take that support for granted, always expecting more without showing appreciation. This mother went above and beyond for her adult daughter—offering her a home, ensuring her safety, and even providing financial help. But when her daughter continued to make irresponsible choices while neglecting her own responsibilities as a parent, the mother knew she had to take a stand.

Here’s what happened.

I (58F) am at my breaking point. For over three years, my daughter, her six children, and her partner have been living with my husband and me—rent-free. Despite both of them having stable jobs, they constantly ask us for money to cover groceries, car repairs, and “emergencies.” We’ve helped as much as we could, but it’s becoming unsustainable, especially with my husband nearing retirement.

Last night, during a family dinner, my daughter announced she’s expecting baby number seven. The room erupted in cheers—her partner raised his glass, the kids squealed with excitement, and even my husband patted her on the back. Meanwhile, I sat in stunned silence, trying to process it all.

Finally, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I asked, “How do you plan to afford this baby when you already rely on us so much?” The room went silent. My daughter’s smile faded as she snapped, “We’re doing the best we can, Mom. Babies are a blessing.”

I took a deep breath and said, “I’m not saying they aren’t, but this house is bursting at the seams. You need to start planning to move out.”

She looked stunned. “Move out? Where are we supposed to go? You know we can’t afford rent right now.”

“You’ve had three years,” I replied, keeping my voice as calm as possible. “I’m giving you two months to figure it out.”

Dinner was painfully awkward after that. Her partner avoided eye contact, the kids were too young to understand, and my husband stared down at his plate.

Later that night, my daughter confronted me. “How can you do this to your own family? We’re trying! And now, when I’m pregnant, you’re kicking us out?”

“I’m not kicking you out,” I told her. “I’m giving you a deadline to take responsibility for your own family.”

She stormed upstairs, furious.

This morning, I woke up to find she had made a dramatic Facebook post: “I’m pregnant and have nowhere to go. My family doesn’t care about me.”

Now, friends and extended family are flooding her comments with sympathy, offering places to stay, and criticizing me for being “heartless.” One of my nieces even wrote, “Shame on your mom for not supporting you in your time of need.”

I’m floored. Supporting her is all we’ve been doing. I’ve sacrificed my retirement savings, my peace of mind, and my privacy to help them, yet now I’m being painted as the villain.

My husband is caught in the middle. He agrees we can’t keep doing this forever, but he thinks two months is too harsh and wants me to reconsider. I, however, feel that if we keep enabling them, they’ll never leave.

Am I wrong for setting this boundary? Should I be more patient?

—Shona