Bert & Edna’s Last Bucket List 💕😂

On a quiet Sunday evening, Bert and Edna — married 55 years — rocked gently on their porch swing, sipping lukewarm tea while squirrels wrestled over a stray Cheeto.

Out of nowhere, Edna said, “Bert… let’s talk bucket lists.”

Bert raised an eyebrow. “At eighty-seven? The only list I’m making is where I left my pants.”

“No, silly,” she laughed. “Dreams we’ve never dared.”

He thought for a moment. “I’ve always wanted to skydive.”

Edna’s eyes widened. “You? You nearly faint tying your shoes!”

“Exactly,” Bert grinned. “Imagine me landing in the neighbor’s yard — I’ve always wanted to haunt him.”

Edna smirked. “Fine. You skydive. I’ll do mine.”

“What’s yours?” Bert asked.

That mischievous sparkle lit her eyes. “Remember your favorite recliner that leaned left for 20 years? After you spilled grape soda on my curtains in ’89, I stuck a spatula under one leg.”

Bert gasped. “You monster!”

“And the remote that only played Hallmark movies? Penny in the battery compartment.”

Bert’s jaw dropped. “Why?”

“Because nothing says revenge like five years of slow-motion snowball fights.”

He chuckled. “Alright, confession time. My ‘fishing trips’ the past decade? I was bowling. Won four trophies — hidden behind the water heater.”

Edna’s mouth fell open. “You mean the ‘junk’ I threw out in 1965?”

They laughed until the tea went cold.

A month later, Bert went skydiving — landing squarely in the neighbor’s yard — and every Saturday, they bowled together. Mischief and love, hand in hand.

Years later, they died in a car accident. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter showed them a heavenly mansion — gourmet kitchen, Jacuzzi, golf course, and a 5-star buffet, all free.

“No low-fat options?” Bert asked.

“No need,” St. Peter smiled. “Here, you can eat anything without gaining a pound.”

Bert turned to Edna. “This is YOUR fault! If you hadn’t made me eat kale-chicken muffins for fifty years, we’d still be alive!”

Edna just shook her head, laughing. “Even in heaven, you’re the grumpiest man I’ve ever loved.”

And they strolled off — hand in hand — to rock a pearly white porch swing forever.